Dedicated to my family

One of the other expats eloquently pointed out that homesickness is like the stomach flu – not always there or dull like a cold, but catches you just on certain times and really sucks. http://loudamericans.blogspot.com/
This week is the annual family outing back in MN/WI, a tradition from before I was born of trekking out somewhere “up North” together and hanging out, relaxing, golfing, laughing and ideally sitting by a fire telling stories (sometimes the same stories as last year). Last August on just such an outing up at Lutsen, perhaps my favorite place, my entire family – Grandpa and Grandma, and the chorus of aunts and uncles and cousins came to know of my crazy idea – maybe I should move to India for a year or so. And without dissent they said, “what a great opportunity – we’ll miss you!” Maybe not the reaction I was expecting, but testament to what great family I have – like the book I read to Caden most nights “I’ll always love you, no matter what.” There are, as I reflect, a number of defining things like this where I realize my family’s values. Starting with my Grandpa and Grandma, who would NEVER say: do as I say, not as I do. They absolutely live their values – family comes first, the right thing to do is the right thing to do, laugh a lot and celebrate life with the things that matter. From a kid going snowmobiling to get pancakes with my Grandpa on Sundays (wearing my purple helmet) to the annual vacations together to all the times our family grew – marriages, kids (I’m the oldest of 23 cousins now I think, and there are great-grandchildren too), it never occurred to me that a family so large wouldn’t try to spend time together at least once a week. These are values you don’t realize you have, until you see from the outside. Another time I remember when I wanted to move in with Wade, Grandpa just said “it’s not the decision I would make for you, but it’s not my decision to make.” Times like these where you know what “I’ll always love you, no matter what” really means.
I remember my Dad telling me that “no matter what you did, lying about it is worse” until I believed it. And him coming to ball games not on time, but 15 minutes early so he could watch the team warm up – showing me every moment counts. And it’s awesome knowing that I’ll never be too old too need my mommy – even after 30, it’s still ok to put your head in your mom’s lap and get your hair played with. And even grilled cheese counts as a home cooked meal. And it’s always ok to call home.
Some people might be lucky to stop there… but I could use up all my space on google writing about my family. My husband I love so much, and that took a year off to be here with me. My son who brings me joy every day with his smile and laughs. My sister who makes me so proud of who she is – and regarding accounting, who she isn’t! My brother who serves our country and still pushes me to be better – even if I can’t go back and get better grades. My cousins – from the “favorites” and everyone I can’t believe how big you’re getting – my God! My aunts and uncles – Jeff and Ann, Joel and Shelly, John, Jody, Jim and Lisa, Julie and Jerry – all different and yet all amazing. And fun. And good-hearted. And loud. And caring. And such a part of who I am.
I miss you guys, and I wish I could be there with you now. But thank you for supporting me in this, and we’ll see you soon!

The, uh, I don’t know – interesting? part of this is that I can’t stop there. Because not in the same way, but in a powerful way, I have a family here now too. From everyone in our house that sometimes make me crazy, but care for us nonetheless – Lokesh, Swapna and Ms. Pinto. We have made such great friends here – the quick way in which expats look after each other – sort of an “I don’t really know you, but I’m here…only” unconditional and unprecedented support that feels like family. Tom and Tracy, we could never thank you enough for “looking after us” the way you have these last six months. And Michele – you are an inspiration with the determined way you face your own struggles being apart from your husband, and our smoke breaks and spa appointments really make a difference! I’m also lucky to have the work family – more people looking after me and teaching me every day. From new friends like Radha and Stuti, my new buddy Sriram, and so many others to all the people that have looked after me from relocation to work issues. And my team already has taught me so much too – from vain efforts at Hindi to good lessons to look back on long from now.
So, next summer sitting around the campfire, I imagine I’ll get a little “flu” and realize how much I miss my family in India too.

Summer days (in monsoon season)

Thank you to everyone who's shared stories of their beautiful MN summer days of perfect weather, trips up North, golf and leaving early. I especially enjoyed the email invite to Brit's patio on Friday...followed shortly by Dad's email with attached picture of steaks on the grill...NOT!!!
We're starting monsoon season apparently and it's actually been cooler here than in MN, and a little grey, cloudy and lightly rainy most days. So the trips to the pool are on hiatus although the temp still lingers around 80. Ok, but life here hasn't been all that bad either.
On Tuesday Wade and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. As I was getting ready, our housekeeper Swapna came up and into the bathroom with cake (Cake is HUGE here)! Both she and Lokesh had brought a bouquet of flowers and an excitement that Wade and I could only marvel at. Swapna was thrilled when I agreed to sport the bindi and "married woman" marking in tumeric powder. Even Ganesh got a special blessing. I have to say the celebration was fun, and generated quite the chatter in the office with wishes of "many happy returns of the day" (the bindi smack in the middle of my forehead caught a few eyes). And when we opened the 1999 bottle of Cabernet my parents slipped into a care package, Wade and I also found excitement. Come on though, 8 years - it goes fast!!
July 10 is also my Grandpa's birthday, and had me missing home and the expected dinner with the whole family, and lunch celebration for just me and Grandpa. Not to worry Grandpa, it will be top on my list when we get home - pencil me in for lunch at Capital, and we can end my journey here just as it began!!
AND, July 10 is also my now four-year old neighbor Kay's birthday. Wade and Caden had a great time at the party. Caden had hand-picked out the present with clever observations like "girls like pink" and "Kay likes bubbles" - fun to see him getting involved. I made it home at 9 from a long day of meetings, and another hectic summer/monsoon season day had passed.
In other news, the "girls" had been planning a spa weekend for Saturday that turned into a family affair at Eagleton, a golf resort not far from town but worth an overnight in Bangalore traffic. So we all piled in and I FINALLY got in my first round of golf since moving to India. Who knew life here wouldn't be full of tee times at palm-tree lined courses?? I must not have read that contract very well... Anyhow, it was a great outing even if the golf was a lot rusty and the weather was a little overcast. Turns out golf actually isn't that popular here. But not to worry Dad, Caden is getting the itch also but we've resisted buying the little guy a bunch of sticks with metal clubs at the end and direction to hit hard balls as far as possible... for now. Otherwise, a fun time with great friends and the girls got to ride home in our own car and stop for one of these wonderful all you can eat (and drink) Bangalore brunches. I do say, Bangalore brunch rocks. Wade would like to point out, the kids car stopped at McDonald's, and the McVeggie burger did not meet expectations.
Otherwise, all non-parents stop reading!
Really.
I have to share two Caden stories... getting him into bed the other night with his stuffed dog (Ralph) that I bought when he "was just a little baby in my belly." He asks in his quizzical way, "how big was I when I came our your mouth?"
Angela: "Uh...you weren't very big when you were born."
And on our way home from the store on Saturday, this high-pitched French-accented voice shouts out "Cad-en, Cade-en" from the back of a scooter and Caden takes off running at full speed like he's running for life. We catch up to Pauline from his school and Caden begins to hop on one foot and exclaim proudly "I can hop on one foot." (Apparently, when you're three this is how you impress girls - very smooth, huh?) I have to say, the little guy was quite smitten with Pauline and followed her around the playground dutifully. And when she pulled out a nerf dart gun from her bag, I thought I'd lost Caden for good.
Ah, summer days. Seriously, have a refreshing adult beverage at 4pm on the patio somewhere for me!!

A good Saturday

A number of new friends have joined us in Bangalore recently, both from work and of the "small world" kind. This, coupled with the upcoming Independence day, seemed good reason to have a BBQ and some apple pie. This being India, we got together with our best friends here and called the party planner to make arrangements. Because in addition to burgers (beef and veggie), salad, and apple pie, to have a gathering here you need balloons clustered in red, white and blue, and also in green, white and saffron, hand-painted replicas of both flags, a tent and of course - a face painter!
At the end of a very long week, it was just what we needed - a strong reminder of the wonderful friends we've met here from all over the world: Indian, American, French, Columbian, Irish, Korean, German, Canadian and so on. Ours is a vibrant and dynamic community filled with warm and supportive people. No one ever said living 9,000 miles from home would be easy, but it's times like this, surrounded by love and friendship, that I'm proud to call Bangalore home.