On bets you might have taken

The scene is your high school prom, and you think you are amazing and invincible (you are 17 after all). A crazy 30-year old lady comes up and says: "I bet you...

• "This guy won't last" (seemed like a long shot anyhow you think)
• "But the dress will...you'll wear it again 13 years from now" (this you believe, but you shouldn't.. because 13 years is a long time, and childbirth and a desk job are not kind)
• "You'll fit into it because you've been living in India for a year, and have lost 15 pounds through a unique combination of not liking the food, digestive issues, and stress" (now you think she is just rude)
  
• "You'll be out for an Annual Charity Ball sponsored by the Overseas Womens Club" (ok, I knew I was good-hearted, but did I join the PTA? So not cool.)
• "It will be your second one." (Hmmm...the consistency is also alarming)
• "And your husband is the member, not you." (Women's club? What is this nonsense? I have a husband?)
• "Oh, and your cook is watching your son." (I have a son? How did that happen? Cook? I thought you said I didn't like the food...)
• "You had to hitch a ride to the Ball though" (well, that happens)
• "Because your driver is on strike." (ok, not usually that way)
• "So you didn't get your haircut since you didn't have transportation" (did it look ok anyways?) remember, you're 17 and vain
• "And you're wearing bad shoes, since your shopping trip got canceled, since your driver is on strike, and you live 7 miles outside of Bangalore." (ew, that is SO annoying)
• "And when you were getting ready you didn't really care. You just wanted the power to last long enough to blow dry your hair"
• "After your cold shower, since the main power was out and you didn't get a chance to warm up the water" (cold shower? main power? why "warm up" a shower? this is getting strange.)
  
• "Since you were running late from your facial, where you bobbled your head Indian style to the "don't wear makeup or wash for 3-4 hours ma'am"" (in a place without hot water?)
  
• ..and you thought to yourself that the bobble was at times the most perfect expression of "yeah, yeah, I fully intend to do the opposite of what you just told me."" heck, I wouldn't have taken that bet 6 months ago
• "You had fun at the party" (of course I did, I'm fun)
• "Dancing to YMCA, soundtrack from Greece and Om Shanti Om among others" (in Bangalore in 2008?)
• "With your German neighbor and his friend" (cool)
• "Before you went back to your table for a cigarette" (I smoke? That is so not cool.)
• "And then you'll decide to leave, and you want to go put your sweatpants on" (fine, this is getting tiring you nut)
• "But first you have to collect your purchases from the silent auction...a painting and a flight simulator game" (man, am I eclectic...that's cool)
  
• "You'll ride, since you don't drive remember, back through Bangalore" (maybe best, I'm sure I've been drinking)
• "While the driver talks on his cell and watches Rocky 3 on the portable DVD player which is going the whole ride home as we veer around motorcycles" (no wonder I drink. did you say I smoke too?)
• "Your son wakes you at 7am, and you'll think (after cursing the hour), I have to blog this...for the whole public world to see. No one will believe." (blog - what's that?)

How much do you want to bet??

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