Dedicated to my family

One of the other expats eloquently pointed out that homesickness is like the stomach flu – not always there or dull like a cold, but catches you just on certain times and really sucks. http://loudamericans.blogspot.com/
This week is the annual family outing back in MN/WI, a tradition from before I was born of trekking out somewhere “up North” together and hanging out, relaxing, golfing, laughing and ideally sitting by a fire telling stories (sometimes the same stories as last year). Last August on just such an outing up at Lutsen, perhaps my favorite place, my entire family – Grandpa and Grandma, and the chorus of aunts and uncles and cousins came to know of my crazy idea – maybe I should move to India for a year or so. And without dissent they said, “what a great opportunity – we’ll miss you!” Maybe not the reaction I was expecting, but testament to what great family I have – like the book I read to Caden most nights “I’ll always love you, no matter what.” There are, as I reflect, a number of defining things like this where I realize my family’s values. Starting with my Grandpa and Grandma, who would NEVER say: do as I say, not as I do. They absolutely live their values – family comes first, the right thing to do is the right thing to do, laugh a lot and celebrate life with the things that matter. From a kid going snowmobiling to get pancakes with my Grandpa on Sundays (wearing my purple helmet) to the annual vacations together to all the times our family grew – marriages, kids (I’m the oldest of 23 cousins now I think, and there are great-grandchildren too), it never occurred to me that a family so large wouldn’t try to spend time together at least once a week. These are values you don’t realize you have, until you see from the outside. Another time I remember when I wanted to move in with Wade, Grandpa just said “it’s not the decision I would make for you, but it’s not my decision to make.” Times like these where you know what “I’ll always love you, no matter what” really means.
I remember my Dad telling me that “no matter what you did, lying about it is worse” until I believed it. And him coming to ball games not on time, but 15 minutes early so he could watch the team warm up – showing me every moment counts. And it’s awesome knowing that I’ll never be too old too need my mommy – even after 30, it’s still ok to put your head in your mom’s lap and get your hair played with. And even grilled cheese counts as a home cooked meal. And it’s always ok to call home.
Some people might be lucky to stop there… but I could use up all my space on google writing about my family. My husband I love so much, and that took a year off to be here with me. My son who brings me joy every day with his smile and laughs. My sister who makes me so proud of who she is – and regarding accounting, who she isn’t! My brother who serves our country and still pushes me to be better – even if I can’t go back and get better grades. My cousins – from the “favorites” and everyone I can’t believe how big you’re getting – my God! My aunts and uncles – Jeff and Ann, Joel and Shelly, John, Jody, Jim and Lisa, Julie and Jerry – all different and yet all amazing. And fun. And good-hearted. And loud. And caring. And such a part of who I am.
I miss you guys, and I wish I could be there with you now. But thank you for supporting me in this, and we’ll see you soon!

The, uh, I don’t know – interesting? part of this is that I can’t stop there. Because not in the same way, but in a powerful way, I have a family here now too. From everyone in our house that sometimes make me crazy, but care for us nonetheless – Lokesh, Swapna and Ms. Pinto. We have made such great friends here – the quick way in which expats look after each other – sort of an “I don’t really know you, but I’m here…only” unconditional and unprecedented support that feels like family. Tom and Tracy, we could never thank you enough for “looking after us” the way you have these last six months. And Michele – you are an inspiration with the determined way you face your own struggles being apart from your husband, and our smoke breaks and spa appointments really make a difference! I’m also lucky to have the work family – more people looking after me and teaching me every day. From new friends like Radha and Stuti, my new buddy Sriram, and so many others to all the people that have looked after me from relocation to work issues. And my team already has taught me so much too – from vain efforts at Hindi to good lessons to look back on long from now.
So, next summer sitting around the campfire, I imagine I’ll get a little “flu” and realize how much I miss my family in India too.

Summer days (in monsoon season)

Thank you to everyone who's shared stories of their beautiful MN summer days of perfect weather, trips up North, golf and leaving early. I especially enjoyed the email invite to Brit's patio on Friday...followed shortly by Dad's email with attached picture of steaks on the grill...NOT!!!
We're starting monsoon season apparently and it's actually been cooler here than in MN, and a little grey, cloudy and lightly rainy most days. So the trips to the pool are on hiatus although the temp still lingers around 80. Ok, but life here hasn't been all that bad either.
On Tuesday Wade and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. As I was getting ready, our housekeeper Swapna came up and into the bathroom with cake (Cake is HUGE here)! Both she and Lokesh had brought a bouquet of flowers and an excitement that Wade and I could only marvel at. Swapna was thrilled when I agreed to sport the bindi and "married woman" marking in tumeric powder. Even Ganesh got a special blessing. I have to say the celebration was fun, and generated quite the chatter in the office with wishes of "many happy returns of the day" (the bindi smack in the middle of my forehead caught a few eyes). And when we opened the 1999 bottle of Cabernet my parents slipped into a care package, Wade and I also found excitement. Come on though, 8 years - it goes fast!!
July 10 is also my Grandpa's birthday, and had me missing home and the expected dinner with the whole family, and lunch celebration for just me and Grandpa. Not to worry Grandpa, it will be top on my list when we get home - pencil me in for lunch at Capital, and we can end my journey here just as it began!!
AND, July 10 is also my now four-year old neighbor Kay's birthday. Wade and Caden had a great time at the party. Caden had hand-picked out the present with clever observations like "girls like pink" and "Kay likes bubbles" - fun to see him getting involved. I made it home at 9 from a long day of meetings, and another hectic summer/monsoon season day had passed.
In other news, the "girls" had been planning a spa weekend for Saturday that turned into a family affair at Eagleton, a golf resort not far from town but worth an overnight in Bangalore traffic. So we all piled in and I FINALLY got in my first round of golf since moving to India. Who knew life here wouldn't be full of tee times at palm-tree lined courses?? I must not have read that contract very well... Anyhow, it was a great outing even if the golf was a lot rusty and the weather was a little overcast. Turns out golf actually isn't that popular here. But not to worry Dad, Caden is getting the itch also but we've resisted buying the little guy a bunch of sticks with metal clubs at the end and direction to hit hard balls as far as possible... for now. Otherwise, a fun time with great friends and the girls got to ride home in our own car and stop for one of these wonderful all you can eat (and drink) Bangalore brunches. I do say, Bangalore brunch rocks. Wade would like to point out, the kids car stopped at McDonald's, and the McVeggie burger did not meet expectations.
Otherwise, all non-parents stop reading!
Really.
I have to share two Caden stories... getting him into bed the other night with his stuffed dog (Ralph) that I bought when he "was just a little baby in my belly." He asks in his quizzical way, "how big was I when I came our your mouth?"
Angela: "Uh...you weren't very big when you were born."
And on our way home from the store on Saturday, this high-pitched French-accented voice shouts out "Cad-en, Cade-en" from the back of a scooter and Caden takes off running at full speed like he's running for life. We catch up to Pauline from his school and Caden begins to hop on one foot and exclaim proudly "I can hop on one foot." (Apparently, when you're three this is how you impress girls - very smooth, huh?) I have to say, the little guy was quite smitten with Pauline and followed her around the playground dutifully. And when she pulled out a nerf dart gun from her bag, I thought I'd lost Caden for good.
Ah, summer days. Seriously, have a refreshing adult beverage at 4pm on the patio somewhere for me!!

A good Saturday

A number of new friends have joined us in Bangalore recently, both from work and of the "small world" kind. This, coupled with the upcoming Independence day, seemed good reason to have a BBQ and some apple pie. This being India, we got together with our best friends here and called the party planner to make arrangements. Because in addition to burgers (beef and veggie), salad, and apple pie, to have a gathering here you need balloons clustered in red, white and blue, and also in green, white and saffron, hand-painted replicas of both flags, a tent and of course - a face painter!
At the end of a very long week, it was just what we needed - a strong reminder of the wonderful friends we've met here from all over the world: Indian, American, French, Columbian, Irish, Korean, German, Canadian and so on. Ours is a vibrant and dynamic community filled with warm and supportive people. No one ever said living 9,000 miles from home would be easy, but it's times like this, surrounded by love and friendship, that I'm proud to call Bangalore home.

Annual Fishing Trip

June is typically the month designated for the father-son fishing trip. Often the adventure takes place at Pine Island in Northern Saskatchewan; other times at home on the Clearwater River. Caden noticed the change in the air on about June 1 and began an incessant requesting to go fishing. He had to catch a fish. Even his diet changed as he began requesting fish for dinner (preferably with the heads on as he wanted to be sure he was getting fish).

Now to turn down such an impassioned request in the Miller Clan is, well, blasphemy, so we set about making arrangements for the pilgrimage. There is a fishing camp located a few hours south of Bangalore, Bheemeshwari Camp, but the road was a bit rough and travel was slow at times (not necessarily because our driver couldn't see over the steering wheel).

After settling in a bit, we thought we'd check out the river and we finally got a line wet. It is a bit rustic with no real fishing rod (but a bamboo stick sufficed) and no reels. A piece of bread on a hook and we were ready to fish. June isn't the height of the fishing season here and we really had to work at it. Caden got his line in the water and waited........

and waited......

And then, finally, we caught one! Okay, a trophy it isn't, but it has scales, gills and a tail, so it met the criteria.

Unfortunately, I did have to hear how next year's fishing trip would have to be with Grandpa Bill; He knows how to catch big fish..... and he has a boat.

Good luck to the crew going to Canada; and for those of you canning Kokanee, please save some room in your luggage (we miss it).

So, how hot was it??

Yes, it was hot. We knew this before we left and had been duly warned. Which is good, because I deal with things better when they are as I expect them to be. Of course, Delhi and the north of India experienced a deadly heat wave while we were there, with a high point for Delhi (temp-wise) being the day we were there. It was 118 degress, and humid, and polluted, and dusty. The low that night was 97 degrees. We drank a lot of water. And sweated most of it out. An interesting thing is what conservative dress really means - even in this heat, NO ONE was wearing shorts. Not one single person. All men in long pants AND long sleeves and all women covered shoulder to toe. God how I wanted to ask - "what are you thinking? Do you know that when it gets to 20 where I come from, we wear a thing called shorts? It's 40 here! Try showing your knees, you might like it." A rational marketer would look at this and see an untapped market for "appropriate" garments.
Oh well. How do I know that I'm acclimating? I wore jeans out to dinner in Delhi (it was 20 degrees cooler at night after all), and I sit here tonight in Bangalore, wearing long sleeve pajamas since it's only 73 and I thought chilly.
One last funny thought. As I was looking up the weather.com "official" temps, I ran across this article...
"New Delhi, June 15 (IANS) After a simmering fortnight when most of north India baked in the heat, the rains finally graced the region Friday, bringing a wave of relief and a renewed energy to harried residents.
The capital woke up to a pleasant Friday morning - without a trace of the scorching summer sun or the unbearable heat - and as the day advanced the skies turned grey before finally giving way to a refreshing spell of rain.
The capital received 51.2 mm of rain. 'The skies are going to remain cloudy tomorrow as well,' said an official of the Indian Meteorological Department (IMD).
The maximum temperature was a pleasant 36 degree Celsius while the minimum was a distinctly cool 28."
For those not versed in Celcius, on weather.com, it was a pleasant 102 today, and a distinctly cool 84 tonight in Delhi.
:)

Stop 3: Delhi

Despite the heat (I'll tell you that in a separate post), we really enjoyed Delhi. A city of 13+ million people and a palpable energy even in oppressive heat. Sunday found us with a bite to eat at McDonald's (we were way more hungry than proud) followed by a city tour that included the Qutab Minar Complex, the oldest landmark in Delhi.
A trip to Humayan's tomb, a landmark of Mughal architecture and predecessor to the Taj Mahal. I liked the quote in my tour book "they built like giants, and they finished like jewellers."
India gate - it's not blurry - it's heat and pollution you see.
Oh, and we saw inside the Imperial Hotel, where they have an extremely decadent restaurant called Spice Route. YUM. Have you ever seen such an enormous glass for wine?
On our last day, Sarah was also able to find a good place for henna. After three people recommended "the place by the Hanuman temple and Rivoli theater," we found the outdoor salon that everyone was talking about...only in India.Delhi was also able to satisfy our quest for material goods and we did quite well shopping. We got pashminas from Kashmir, jewelry from Jaipur (who needs to go there?), some clothes, some more incredible jewelry...800 bottles of water, and definitely a fun trip to remember. It was also great getting to spend some time with Sarah and getting to know her better. Thanks Sarah for a very fun trip all things considered - come again anytime!

On to Jaipur

For the second stop on the tour, we drove another four or so not as nice hours (less road, more cows) to Jaipur. It was interesting to watch the landscape change anyhow as we approached Jaipur - the capital of the state of Rajasthan and gateway to the Thar desert. The ruins of the fomer palatial walled city greet you as you enter the mountains - a vastly different scene from anything I'd seen.

On arrival, dusty and hot from the drive, we spent the afternoon by the pool (in the shade of the 110 degree heat) and ate really good, rapidly melting ice cream. It was nice to relax and read, a bit away from the sensory overload of touring. Rajasthan is known for its color and vibrancy, from jewelry to mirrorwork fabrics to puppet shows. Sarah and I saw a puppet show that was pretty fun, with the puppeteer as colorful as the puppets! Oh, and we also stopped by the palmist on the way to dinner. He said I travel too much, have a "butterfly heart" and a temper. Oh and that I'll have three kids. What does he know!?
The palaces and fomer glory of Jaipur were really impressive. Unfortunately, our tour guide was not... and most of the "tour" seemed designed to sell us stuff at a series of demonstrations, conventiently staged in front of overpriced shops. Still, we saw the Amber Palace/Fort after riding there up the face of the mountain on top of an elephant - pretty cool.

Of our stops though, this was the most tiring. I've mentioned before that India can be sensory overload, and between the heat and our feeble attempt at shopping and the people, Jaipur was no exception. Our waiter even commented "the glory of our past is more than our present." As with the Taj, the contrast in Jaipur was astounding. On the same page of my guide book as discussion on the Observatory and the Palace of Winds is a note that one third of the population live without sewage (I'd never seen the Palace of Winds, or anyone poop along the side of the road before).

The North of India is also quite conservative, and startling in Jaipur was the lack of women outside - anywhere. I bet the ratio of male to female was easily 40 to 1. And 38 of the 40 appeared hostile. This made shopping quite uncomfortable despite our head to toe dress in the 110 degree heat, and although I went with the "I'm from Canada" approach, we didn't buy much of anything on account of silly pricing and cranky shopkeepers. The road to Jaipur was closed with rioting and burning busses the week before we traveled there, and it didn't appear to have exactly re-rolled out the red "welcome American tourist" carpet.

So in startling self-absorbed self-indulgence, we enjoyed the sights, our nice Hilton hotel, some great meals and headed out of town toward Delhi. Also, since I'm getting accustomed to people taking my picture (or Caden's anyhow) like some crazy novelty, I figured I could take some shameless pictures as well. As much as the heat and dust and mean (or pooping) people offended my spoiled sensitivities, I'd have to be COMPLETELY oblivious to not note that most of our fellow travelers were not traveling in a spacious air-conditioned van. It's incredible in fact how many people a moving vehicle could accomodate. In Bangalore, I'm always amazed at how many people fit on a motor bike (up to a family of five). On the five hour stretch to Delhi, that's nothing! But at least those guys were sharing a jeep...

Not to forget that it is over 110 outside and not exactly paved freeway... I tried to be thankful as I fussed and crabbed that my Treo wasn't synching data properly...